Remembering Moments
by Normryl
Summary: A look at several key stages to Perry Cox's life. Important moments and the things that shaped the person he is today. Chapter 4: Carla and Perry go on a date.
1. Born To Resentment

**Title: **Remembering Moments  
**Summary**: A look at several key stages to Perry Cox's life. Important moments and the things that shaped the person he is today.  
**Notes:** I wanted to write a story that delved back into Perry's past. Looking at his childhood, his time as an intern and his relationships with Jordan and Carla and what he went through when his parents died.  
I wasn't going to add any more stories until I got a few more reviews for my last story, but I'm too good to ya!

**

* * *

****Chapter One Summary: **Perry realises his life is different to others.  
**Chapter One Notes**: First chapter deals with child abuse. Perry and Paige's parents I've named Mary and Frank, staying consistant with my other story. Please excuse anything in the first chapter relating to life at an American High School if it's crap. I don't know what I'm talking about, but hopefully I've faked it well enough. If not, what are you gonna do about it? 

_'We do not remember days; we remember moments.'_

* * *

**1. Born To Resentment**

He was 14 years old when he found out his life wasn't normal.

Perry lived at home with his mother, father and his sister, Paige. He'd had friends at Elementary school, but none of them had ever come back to his house.

But when he went on to High School he got a closer group of friends. Jeff, Ron, Mikey and himself all thought of themselves as pretty cool. They all performed well in class, and were all considered to be 'jock-ish' They weren't full on jocks, they had brains for a start, but they were all good athletes.

Whenever there were extra curricular activities he could participate in after school, he'd always do them. The others didn't usually, much prefering to finally get home. They couldn't understand why Perry would want to stay at school longer than he had to. He always told them he just enjoyed learning and that he wanted to be a doctor one day. That was a lie. He didn't have any ambition to be a doctor, but he knew you needed to be smart to be one and it kept them off his back.

Jeff had admired Perry's mentality. He'd told him he wished he had the same drive to be a success. Perry just shrugged and said nothing. Jeff told him that there was an after school basketball training that he was going to do and asked Perry if he wanted to do that. He agreed to it, mostly because he had nothing else to do after school on a Tuesday and it was another great reason not to go home.

The two boys had a lot of fun learning to improve their game. It wasn't as though either of them thought that they'd become pro's, but they were good and enjoyed themselves. It gave them something to do. Jeff was a better athelete than Perry. He never felt any resentment towards his friend though, because that's just the way it was. Perry knew that in certain subjects he was better than Jeff and they same with the other guys too. They all had their strengths and weakness'.

Perry couldn't remember when it was he realised his life wasn't normal. He remembered it was cold. They'd stayed a little later to shoot a few hoops as the others changed and hit the showers. By the time they'd finished, nearly all the others were gone. Perry took of his basketball shirt and took his normal tee from his bag. Pulling the top over his head, he turned to Jeff to see if his friend was ready to go.

"What the hell happened to you, man?" Jeff asked.

Perry's brow creased into a frown. "What?" he asked.

"That bruise, how'd you do it?"

"Oh, it's just a..." That's when Perry's mind went blank. He couldn't think of anything except two nights ago when he's father had got drunk and, in an agitated state, started throwing things at him and Paige. Being older, Perry always tried to protect his sister. He'd learnt the best thing to do was to try and turn his back to the violence. It seemed to hurt a little less. "I Just... I fell."

"On what?"

"The floor." Perry answered quickly. He knew the longer he took trying to think of a reasonable explanation the more unrealistic it all seemed. "Look, you know what it's like when your father has too much to drink, right?"

"No. I don't."

That was the moment. That was when he realised that not everyone put on a happy face at school and went home to something resembling hell. And not everyone stayed at school as long as they could to hide away from that life, but because they wanted to be better people.

That was the moment that Pery Cox began to resent his life.

* * *


	2. Heart of a Doctor

**Summary**: Perry's first day as an intern at Sacred Heart.  
**Notes:** I've based this story on when JD was an intern and Jordan mocks Perry for saying he didn't want to be a doctor any more, so he obviously met her early on in his life and at Sacred Heart. I'm also basing Perry's reaction to his first day a little bit on what John C. McGinley's said about when he auditions for a role (specifically, the one for Scrubs). Some language and sexual references too. I couldn't remember what the old Chief of medicine was called, but when I find out, I'll change it.

**2. Heart of a Doctor**

Perry didn't feel like it was his first day at Sacred Heart.

He was surrounded by fellow interns at the hospital, as their resident, Bob Kelso talked them through the first few stages of their new life at the hospital. The man wasn't very friendly and used the word 'sport' far too much for Perry's liking.

Once he had gone, the Chief of medicine reassured them all that if they remembered their training they'd be fine and how they all had a lot to give. Perry rolled his eyes a little at what was supposed to be a pep talk and was subsequently asked the first question while they performed rounds. He knew the answer. In all honesty, he wasn't half as nervous as most of the people here. He thrived seeing others struggling, it gave him confidence. He knew that he could ace being a doctor. Damn, he knew he was a cocky little prick to most of the others, but he didn't care. Just like everyone else there, he was out for himself.

It was when they went for their lunch that he ran into the Chief of medicine again.

After taking a quick look at Perry's name badge, he spoke. "How you doing Dr Cox?"

"Fine." Perry replied. He wasn't sure why anyone would be scared to speak to their resident or Chief of medicine.

"So, what got you interested in becoming a doctor?" he asked.

"There was no one reason for it." Perry replied.

"Well, I've seen your work today and you're good. I know it and so do you. But, if you don't have the heart to be a doctor, you've made a terrible choice." With that he walked away.

Suddenly Perry didn't feel hungry any more. He saw the other interns gathered together, but he walked away. Deciding that fresh air was what he needed, he moved through the halls, trying to remember where he was going.

"Lost something?" One of the maintanance guys asked.

"My bearing." Perry replied. Spying the sign that pointed out the exit, he walked towards it. "Never mind."

The Janitor watched the intern go, knowing that he wasn't the right choice to be his yearly victim.

Once outside, he leant against the wall and just watched the people walk past, his mind drifting back to his past. Most people had a grand story about wanting to be a doctor. It would be something heroic like 'I saved someone from drowning when I was 10, and decided I wanted to dedicate my life to helping others.' or the very sad 'I watched my mother choke to death on a peanut butter sandwich and I never got over the fact that I couldn't save her life. But dammit, I'll save the next person'. Perry wasn't sure if either reason meant that any person would be a better doctor than him.

"Hey, you look new." A woman said, walking up to Perry and standing opposite him.

"I'm not brand new." He replied. "So what are you?"

"I'm on the board. My names Jordan Sullivan. Pleased to meet you." She extended her hand.

He took her hand in his. "Perry Cox."

"Cox." She repeated. "Nice. Is it your first day?"

"Yeah."

"So why are you out here?" She asked.

"I'm thinking." he replied.

"You're hard to talk to." Jordan said at his short answers. "What made you come out here and stand brooding against the wall, all thoughtful?"

"I just don't know if I want to be a doctor. Maybe I've made a huge mistake."

"Oh." Jordan said. "Well, if it helps, I'd let Dr Cox give me a physical anytime."

And that was when he saw it. The spark in her eye. "Maybe he'll take you up on that sometime."

"Why wait?" Jordan walked back into the hospital, making sure Perry followed behind.

She walked through the halls until she located an empty room. He followed her in. "You're not a virgin are you?" she asked him, as she started to undo her blouse.

"I'll let you find out for yourself." Perry replied. They didn't waste anytime stripping off and the sex was good. They went together well, there was something between the two of them.  
Afterwards, Perry looked at his watch. "I best get back." He got up off the bed and started to dress.

"So, have you decided whether you made a mistake or not." Jordan asked following suit and getting dressed herself. "Because for what it's worth, I think you'd make a good doctor. Your bedside manner is fantastic."

Perry smiled. "Yeah, I think I know what I'm going to do."

"Gonna tell me?"

"You'll have to wait and see." With that, Perry left the room. He realised he had time to get a coffee before he was back on his shift and on the way to the cafeteria, he passed the Chief of Medicine again. "Oh, sir?" Perry said before the man could walk past him.

"Yes doctor?"

"I was thinking about what you said, about having the heart to be a doctor and you're wrong." Perry watched the composure change ever so slightly.

"And why's that?"

"Because having a personal motive for keeping people alive will only serve to destroy that person emotionally if things don't go well. I want everyone of my patients to walk out of here alive. I know it's not always going to happen. I know that sometimes you can't stop it. But when it does happen, it won't send me into a deep spin of trauma because it reminds me of the puppy I didn't save when I was 6. I'm gonna be a damn good doctor, and I will outlast every one of those other interns. And I'm not saying this just because I want to prove you wrong, or impress you. It's because this is what I'm supposed to do. And I'm gonna be damn good at it."


	3. Care Less

Summary: Perry gets some news.  
A/N: This is a pretty short one, but there you go.

**Care Less**

Perry had been at Sacred Heart for three months.

He felt he had a pretty good grasp on people there. He knew which of his fellow interns he was better than, which wasn't hard as he believed he was better than them all. He knew which residents were half decent and the ones who were total scum. He also knew which of the nurses he could rely on in a heavy situation. Dammit, all the nurses were good, but some were _great._

But there was one big difference that Perry knew set him apart from every other intern here, literally. His way, his tone, his stern look; it all meant that while the rest of them sat together and talked their way through their breaks, Perry often sat alone. If he did sit with others, he didn't join in the conversations much.  
It was on one of the rare occasions that he was with two of the other interns that he didn't hate completely, Martha and Bessie, that one of the nurses came up to him with some news.

She smiled at his sympathetically. "Perry, I just got a call from one of your relatives, your cousin Martin, I think. I'm sorry, your mother passed away."

"Okay." Perry said, barely pausing on the food he was chewing.

Bessie now wore the same sympathetic look as the nurse. "Maybe you could go home."

"No, I'm fine." Perry said. He noticed the conversation soon seemed to quieten down and soon after that, Perry dismissed himself.

It was later that day when Bob Kelso approached him. Perry was busy with a patient and didn't look to his resident immediately.

"Dr Cox, can I have a word, please?"

Perry looked at the older man, finished off what he was writing on the chart before he followed the man the short distance he'd moved. "Some of the other interns were a little concerned about some bad news you received today and I want to make sure that you're still capable of doing your job."

"Of course I am."

"A loss in the family is a hard thing to deal with..." Kelso continued.

"Look, I appreciate the concern and I might be over come with emotion right now if I actually cared. But I don't. Now, I've got work to do." With that, Perry, walked away to check on another of his patients.


	4. Carla

Summary: Perry and Carla go on a date.  
Note: Their first and only date is mentioned in season 4's My Quarantine.

**Carla**

Carla Espinosa was the newest nurse at Sacred Heart. She'd been there a few months and attracted quite a bit of attention from the male doctors there. Mostly, they were guys she knew who wanted nothing more than a quick night of passion and no commitment. But one was different. Perry Cox. She'd found him a little intimidating at first, although she tried her hardest to make sure he didn't realise that. But on the few times she'd been with him in a room when things went bad, there was something in him she saw that completely contradicted that tough show that he would put on. Laverne told her that Cox was a good doctor and he was, if nothing else, honest with people.

And that was why, when he asked her to go to the theatre with him, she'd said yes. She liked the fact that he wasn't showy with their date, he didn't brag about it around the hospital to the other doctors, he just acted normally. They went to the theatre and he took her to a dive of a pizza place afterwards. She wasn't sure why he took her there. It was unimpressive. And as they sat there, making awkward conversation that they both realised that this wasn't meant to be.

He did the gentlemanly thing and took her to her apartment and she invited him in for coffee, making it clear that it was just coffee and they wouldn't end up having sex. He still went though.

It was when Carla bought in the two cups of coffee, that they started to really talk. As he sat on one of the chairs that encircled the tiny coffee table, she stood, leaning against the back of the couch.

"I had a nice time tonight." Carla said.

"No you didn't." Perry responded.

"I did." Carla said again. "The pizza place was a strange choice."

"You blew me out with the theatre tickets, I had to cut costs somewhere."

"I could have paid my way." Carla said.

"I don't ask a lady out and then let her pay her way."

"You know what our problem is?" Perry simply shook his head. "I think that I need a good friend rather than a relationship I'm not ready for." She saw him avert his gaze. And as hard as she knew this was, it was still better now than later. She didn't want him to think that maybe in time there'd be a chance of something happening between them. She felt a connection with him, just not one that came from being in love with him.

"I think it's time I went, I've got work tomorrow." Perry said, about to get up from the chair. Carla stopped him.

"Listen, I know you wanted more from this, but I like you enough as a friend to tell you the truth now, rather than to hurt you later." She gently kissed him on the forehead.

Perry stood up and made his way to the door. Carla followed, waiting for him to respond. She opened the door for him and he stepped out, turning to her. "You know what, Carla. Save the speeches about hurting people for your actual friends, 'cause I'm not one of them." She didn't even watch him walk away, as she slammed the door shut.


End file.
